05 June 2009

Not Much To Say

Well, it has been several months again since I posted anything... and that last post was actually talking about a nice op-ed piece by a cousin.

Right now, I don't have much to say. Either that or I have too much to say.

I doubt much of what I could have posted or what I had been thinking of would have been of much value to you over the past while.

Last week, in an indirect though pointed manner, I was told by a friend that I am an energy taker. I can't really dispute that, because I probably have been for a number of months. Being unemployed with no active prospect of that changing for over a year has really taken a toll on my outlook of the world.

It is true. I'm cynical. I'm upset. I'm mad. I'm sick of the state of our nation and the economy. I'm sick of politicians. I'm sick of the greed, avarice, hatred, and wickedness in the world. I'm tired of feeling isolated and obsolete.

But, based on the referenced conversation, when I speak or talk to folks, I can't feel confident anymore that anything that is coming across is positive. And if others perceive negativity, I have to wonder if they are going to run away from it and me... that maybe they don't want their energy sucked away.

I guess what I have a problem with in this whole concept of energy givers and energy takers is that it kind of contradicts the whole being a light unto the world doctrine. As a disciple of Christ, we are told to let our light shine, and not to hide it under a bushel. The metaphor there is to give off energy, yes? Why? The scriptures say so that others can see one's good works and glorify God. (Matthew 5:16)

Let others see your good works?! Wait, aren't we supposed to be humble, and meek, and do good things in secret so that it doesn't look like we're being prideful?

Well, yeah. I don't think this means doing things publicly so that others will say "Oh what a good person you are!" I think it has more to do with something the larger part of the Christian world doesn't understand (one of the plain and precious truths lost over the centuries of the Great Apostacy), and perhaps what a lot of members of the Lord's restored Church have yet to grasp.

It has to do with being a disciple of Christ and how it is not simply an individual struggle. Obedience to the Lord's commandments and His council is an individual effort, but living as a disciple is far from individual effort. I believe true discipleship can only be realized in a community of those individuals who have made and entered into sacred covenants with Him.

In the Book of Mormon, there are two prophets by the name of Alma. The elder of the two was the only recorded convert to The Lord of another prophet, Abinadi. Abinadi was executed by a wicked king for his steadfastness in condemning the wickedness of the rulers and the people. Alma the elder was one of the rulers, and he had a great change of heart before Abinadi was condemned. Alma repented and eventually became the means of salvation for many other people who also repented as he taught them the things Abinadi had been executed for teaching. Alma and these penitent people had to teach and worship in secret, or would face the same fate as Abinadi.

At one point, the people were ready to enter into a sacred covenant with The Lord. That was baptism: the gate into The Lord's kingdom and entry point onto the path of discipleship to The Lord's reward. Mosiah 18:7-10 describes this.

Alma tells the people who have been working on repenting what letting their light shine means.

It means "mourn with those that mourn; yea, comfort those that stand in need of comfort", which in turn is part of the overall covenant of what discipleship means and the blessings that are afforded as a result.

So, in a community of disciples, what does that mean? In my mind, it shouldn't come as a surprise then that some people are going to be energy takers at various times. They are the ones who are mourning and need comfort (note, the scripture does not limit the source or cause of the mourning or discomfort or related period of duration).

Sometimes, a person simply needs a non-energy taker to just listen and not pass categorical sentence on them as a result. Maybe telling or hinting the person is wrong simply because they are in turmoil is not in harmony with what Alma taught, let alone the example The Savior gave.

Can you imagine if He had told Lazarus' sisters to just buck up, have a stiff upper lip, and stop the whining when their brother had died? He most certainly saw the big picture, and knew that if it were The Father's will, He would restore Lazarus to life. Likewise, it would be unthinkable for us to tell someone today who has lost a loved one to death to just get over it.

How then is it different if someone is out of sorts because their world view has become clouded, or because they mourn the loss of an aspect of their life? They need actual inclusion and reassurance by the community of disciples more than artificial build ups based on philisophical paradigms.

Hopefully, this isn't a drastic departure, but I am reminded of a scene from the movie "Crocodile Dundee." The character Mick "Crocodile" Dundee is taken to a social gathering in New York by his host Sue Charlton. Remember, Mick is from the unpretentious outback of Australia. The people at this party are a bunch of hoity toity socialites of upper class snobbery. Sue describes one of the guests to Mick in a gossipy manner as being much better after many expensive sessions with a psychiatrist / psychologist / counselor. Mick's response is essentially the person must not have many "mates", because if someone has a problem where he is from, it is solved by talking it out with one's mates.

What a novel idea! Talking things out with one's friends! And, one can only do that if they really feel like they will be listened to first. There is this thing about trust that is essential to communication. I don't know about you, but with me, if I am not 100% positive I can trust you, I am certainly not going to open up to you more than I feel I can trust you. And, I'll clam right back up if I feel I'm being marginalized. Ever heard the platitude that laying someone off is nothing personal, just a business decision? Well, to the person who gets laid off, it is extremely personal. Likewise, a listener needs to remember that no matter how intelligent the speaker is, if a listener marginalizes the speaker's subjective concerns and thoughts, it will too often come across as marginalizing the speaker.

So, do we as members of a community of Christ's disciples really work at building and ensuring trust exists? Do you? Do I? Do we think about what it takes to maintain and nurture that trust?

When I see the lights of others shining by their humble living of His Gospel truth, I have been warmed by that light as well. It does not diminish the light they give off. Hopefully at times, I have actually amplified it. I do in turn end up glorifying God, if in nothing more, by expressing gratitude for this or that person's influence for good and charity towards me.

I hope that when I am out of this trough of spiritual emotional energy transfer systems, I remember this and am able to freely share my light to boost those who need a bit of Energizer Bunny jump start.

Like I said at the beginning, I don't really have much to say. Either that, or too much to say. But maybe sharing this thing I've been pondering on the last week will give you some value.

2 comments:

The Duke of Stratford said...

Looks like you had a lot to say! I hope you know that as one of your "mates" you can talk it over with me anytime. I think sometimes we do need to talk over what is going on in our lives. Sometimes I don't want to talk about things to my wife that are bothering me about my role as husband and father because I don't want to upset her, get her worried, get here concerned, etc. It would be nice to sit around the campfire with my buds and just get it out there. Unfortunately, we seem to have this puritan culture where we are not supposed to talk about stuff like that with our buddies. But then how are we supposed to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. Guys ask me how our business is doing. In reality, it is in the crapper. The towns in our area have 40 unemployment and it's enough to keep you awake at night. But when asked my only response is, "Well were still paying our bills." What I would really like to say is, "I've never seen things look so bleak. I don't know how long we can hang on. I don't know what I will do if things don't turn around shortly. I dread that I might have to tell my family that we have to start over. I don't even know what I would do now. Who would want to hire a failed business owner?" Yet these things go unsaid. Instead, around the campfire we tell jokes and stories from our youth. We laugh as if we don't have a care in the world. I look around and see a couple guys that work for the State and realize they may not have jobs shortly either. I see another guy that has gone through a brutal divorce that has left him a mess at times. Yet we don't say anything, we just keep joking around the campfire like all is well. All is well.

Shelley said...

We have been carefully coached to become independent beings who are able to be self-sufficient and to care for our own. While there are some who deliberately avoid that responsibility and take upon themselves the role of the infidel, most of us are thankful to be able to care for our families and provide for them. When we are in circumstances that threaten and destroy our peace and security, we SHOULD be able to talk to the fellow saints and receive the support of emotional and spiritual assurance that we matter. Sadly, there are people who are so insecure in their own circumstances personally, professional and emotionally that they are afraid of getting 'cooties' of like troubles if they share with you about the burdens you carry.

I cannot offer much but my prayers. Know that I have experienced the fear and stress and anguish in my own married life as we have been without work for a time as well.

If I had a way to provide an opening, I would do so. We are keeping our ear to the ground and will continue to let you know about anything that opens up that I hear about.

And you are right, Duke. We tend to expect people to have a stiff upper lip, not because it is good for them, but because it is easier for US.

And that is not Christlike nor will it be acceptable to Him.