Of Needing Another Month...

Here it is 10:40 p.m. ET December 17th...

I'm supposed to be doing something productive, like trying to find our Christmas Card mailing list, working on the Christmas Letter or Christmas Cards, or burning CDs of things we will be giving as presents to relatives, and what am I doing?

Checking out the happenings on Bountiful forum, trying to carry on a semi-intelligent discussion about taxation and the role of government even though I'm brain dead, looking at friends blogs, and now, writing a short entry on my own blog...

We finally got our first real snowfall (like more than an inch that melts within 24 hours) Saturday and Sunday. So much snow that Church was canceled on Sunday and the schools decided they would stay closed today. Having a nice blanket of snow, and it feeling like winter finally does help... But One Night in Bethlehem was over two weeks ago, and despite the wonder and spirit of that event, it did little to get me in the "Festive" Christmas mood. It was simply too busy and too close to Thanksgiving this year. And then the stupid radio stations started playing Christmas music like the next day after Halloween. Okay, that is kind of stretching it unless you consider making people listen to the same 5 or 6 songs for weeks on end a sufficient way to extract information -- or in the case of the secular purpose for the season to send you to the stores to extract dollars from your wallet.

Anyway, I need about another month to really get into the "Festive" mood for Christmas. We never even got all the decorations up indoors or outdoors. And, having Ed McMahon show up on the doorstep with a giant sized check for $25,000.00 would help too!

But, as I close this little randomness of late evening mind wandering, the song "Oh Lord My Redeemer" by Jeff Goodrich comes on, and I am quickly reminded of the real peace and wonder of the season. Maybe I don't need another month, but a few days without all the commotion and distractions.

With seven days left, how do I get that peace to last for more than a few minutes and how do I get my family to bask in it as well? It is there for the having... maybe I just need to stop focusing in on the less important things and spend time on that which will feed and nourish the spirit.

On the Eve of Giving Thanks

I guess it all boils down to being grateful The Lord …

… has not, to this moment, called me on the ingratitude I am daily guilty of.

… understands the desires of my soul above the day's cares I wallow in.

... begrudges me not a place to be heard, even when I chose not to be heard.

… cries for me as I stumble in the jagged snares set for me I fail to see.

… is patient in my struggles, and seeks to loosen the cords that bind me.

… feels the pain of my rejections and still takes the pain when I’m rejected.

Of Magnetic Personalities

There is not a red-blooded American male who has not envisioned, imagined, pretended himself, or actually been a chick magnet at some point in his life.

To break that down in mathematic terms, the prime factors of being a chick magnet are juvenile behavior and seeing one's self as God's gift to those of the fairer sex.

I was reminded of this while helping out with the youth at church this week. I helped drive and chaperone a trip to do a service project to the Bishop's Storehouse.

No one wanted to ride with stuffy old The Scoutmaster (not even my own daughter, sob sob)... all the young men rode with the YM's president, except for one who rode with the girls, and the two YM who got bumped and ended up having to ride with The Scoutmaster because there wasn't room anywhere else.

Anyway, one of the Teachers, you know, the one who is well known for being a total goofball, got to ride with the girls (the Miamaids and Beehives), much to the chagrin of one of the youngest Deacons. The Deacon obviously felt he had something to offer the girls, but ended up having to ride shotgun with The Scoutmaster... kid said probably all of 5 sentences to me during the 45 minute trip down. The other unfortunate Teacher who had to ride with me took it in stride, deciding to sit all the way back in the rear of the van, sprawled out. He is of the age where he is beginning to be aware of his awkwardness around those of the female gender, but doesn't make a big deal out of it. I see him developing into a fine young gentleman.

Oh, back to the goofball. It seems in his effort to be the center of attention, he let the girls do his hair and rolled his jeans up into capris and talked like a girl (falsetto voice and mannerisms) with the girls, spoofing how they talk about what a hunk so-in-so (other young men in the ward) is. According to my daughter, he had them in stitches... One girl who was visiting her friend in our ward thought maybe this young man was more than just play acting... that maybe he had a screw loose in the gender identification department...

Anyway, for the ride down, and for the time spent at that clown Ronald's loosely described fast food eatery, McGrossies, he was a chick magnet. And my daughter was one of the chicks! (weird huh?)

That brings me to me.

This week, aside from the fact my wife and baby daughter have been happy to see me every day, and my two older daughters have tolerated my existence, I wouldn't say I've been a chick magnet.

Oh, I've been a magnet, but of something else.



I have been an elderly driver magnet.

Everyday, sometimes nearly everytime I got in the car and started off down the road, I seemed to get stuck behind an elderly driver... usually an old man who is talking to another old man in the passenger seat. Sometimes there has been an old lady sitting in the passenger side. On occasion, there has been no one sitting there. And once or twice, the driver was even an old lady.

But most of the time, the driver of these vehicles that travel 5 to 10 mph slower than the rest of traffic and/or posted speed limits was a male.



Now, I'm not trying to disrespect our senior citizens or those whose hair has long ago took on some shade of winter camoflouge -- heaven knows, someday I may be an old man driver -- but really folks, does my vehicle have some sort of homing beacon that indicates I'm coming up, so get in front of me and make it impossible for me to get around you until you turn or all drivers behind me have availed themselves of the inner lane on boulevards or the passing lane on highways? Is it really fair for me to get honked at by the yuppie chick in the SUV behind me when I stop at the proper side of an intersection in rush hour so that I am not blocking the intersection, and then three of you elderly drivers assume that means the light has turned green for you (when in fact it is still red but you don't look at the light) and you zoom out from the cross street and fill in the intersection I just left open and obeyed the law for not blocking? I guess it was, because this yuppie chick may have had to put her brake on earlier than she wanted, or maybe she had to interrupt her cell phone conversation or withhold taking a drag on her cigarrette.

If I need to get somewhere in a timely fashion, forget it. Someone up ahead of me is going to drive slow and not be sure of where they are going. Hey, I can't help it that more times than not, it is someone who is driving in a tentative manner like an old man. It is times like this where I wish we had Star Trek transporter technology. But, with my luck, if we did, my magnetic personality would probably just shift to attracting transporter malfunctions and engineers with fake Scottish accents telling me "Cap'n, the circuitry is all fried! I canno' take the risk of turnin' this beastie on and scattering your molecules across the universe!"

Which would mean I get to rely on my magnetic personality again... Could someone please determine what the prime factors of being an elderly driver magnet are?

RE: Edited out emoticon in Crabby thread

The following is a thread posting I made to a discussion on the Bountiful forum. I have moved it here to The Blunt Edge World because within minutes of posting, a couple newer members of the forum showed it was not well received. I felt that what I had to say was worthwhile, but since I was not asking for others to publicly critique me or to create potential for other contention because I speak frankly, I have replaced the comment in the forum and placed it here for those who care to examine the comment objectively and see if the words contain any merit.

arbilad wrote:
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If the consensus is PMs, we can do that in the future. When we started this forum the emphasis was on doing absolutely everything publicly. Experience, I think, has shown that to be the wrong path. So I'm sorry if I caused hurt by posting about it publicly. But in this case I think the discussion of emoticons has been helpful. It could certainly have taken place in absence of a moderation action, though.
Who has been assuming that others know what is offensive to them? I was nearly certain earlier, and am certain now that you posted, that you intended absolutely nothing negative by your use of that emoticon, and were not aware that it could be offensive.



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I'm may regret saying this (or I'm sure some folks will probably expect me to regret it), but I'm going to regret more not saying it. I have been trying to take a sabbatical from this forum, and the farther I get from here in emotional vesting, the more and more I am seeing Bountiful seems to be turning into nothing more than an extension of that place across the river. And for the time, energy, and emotion I have vested in this forum over the past year, I can't just ignore the current state of things.


Arbi, "Who has been assuming that others know what is offensive to them?"

Well, it seems like you have lately, for one. I am surprised that you would ask that, but then again that is from my perspective.

For example, you made a mountain out of a molehill about one word I used over two weeks ago, and everytime I tried to ask that the issue be dropped it was like adding fuel to a fire. And then when I tried to start a discussion to resolve the difference of opinion, I was told by word and action not once, but twice that discussion was summarily done and that there would be no further discussion (remind you folks of anything or place?). AND all the while it turned into harp on Cat time.

Now, another mountain seems to have been made over something not even as big as a molehill.

If people insist on going out of their way to find things to be offended at, as a forum, we shouldn't expect people to know what is considered offensive to any subset of people in this forum unless there is a publicly posted and agreed upon list that states this word or phrase or emoticon are offensive (and why). Otherwise, it is all subjective and individually interpretable, which is neither pragmatic nor common sense.

Unless I am mistaken, part of the reason Bountiful was set up was to avoid all that subjective application of and interpretation of rules we all were /are subject to elsewhere. We also set this forum up to allow people the opportunity to express their opinions freely within the confines of the agreed upon and posted rules, without fear of censorship or retribution. Arbi, if you want to start ruling "your" forum the way it seems you are moving, have fun... I thought this was "our" forum, meaning it belonged to the group as a whole and would be run transparently and with at least the semblence of democracy.

That transparency, by way of reminder, was that if an offense occured publicly, the resolution of the offense was to occur publicly and that if an offense occured privately, it is to occur privately. If you are offended by something privately, then if you can't forgive and let it slide, you take it between you and the individual who offended you privately and work it out. If you are publicly offended, then you work it out publicly for the benefit of all. As the scripture says, leave your offering at the alter until it is resolved and then return so that your offering can then be acceptable unto The Lord. Making everything private is counterintuitive to people actually doing that, or so has been my experience. And, the transparency was also put in place to be a check against moderators / administrators power abuse.

The private and public offense reactions are being mixed up here in both examples, the word I used and the use of the particular emoticon by Poncho. A few people may have been privately offended by either or both, but nothing was said privately to either of us to allow us the opportunity to self-edit. Okay, shouldn't it then be logical to assume that if there was any offense taken, it was allowed to slide off the offendee's back? Instead, there were public accusations of rule breaking with a connotation perhaps it was purposeful offense giving. That may be in order from a moderation standpoint IF there was an accepted standard by which to measure offensive commentary against. But there is none. Rather, statements from moderators and non-moderators alike are made that if only people understood things the way someone else understands them then others would see it the same way and agree (e.g. have read William F. Buckley or are familiar with British Naval history or British etymology). Isn't that attitude what forum rule five was created to speak out against and say was wrong?

There is a far simpler way to handle this than what it appears you feel you need to default to, Arbi, and it is to keep with the original intent of the forum rules and ideal. Forum rules and official policy, with the requisite level of granularity needed, that is put out to the forum membership for discussion and voted on for adoption. There is no need to consolidate power or take a heavy top down hand in moderation like you seem to be moving towards.

No one moderator (including yourself even as administrator, Arbi) has the right to unilaterally dictate what is and is not deemed offensive (except in egregious circumstances) and moderate it out without giving the individual who posted the item in question the right to self-edit first. Offense can be avoided as easily, perhaps more so, when individuals are less apt to find offense.

I suggest that we stick by what the Bountiful forum ideal was by everyone exercising an extraordinary amount of letting things roll off their back. In addition to this, let us establish a specific standard by which agreed upon offensive commentary can be measured. That way, if one has breeched compliance with that publicly, a public courteous reminder be given, allowing the individual to bring the comment into compliance. What we don't need for sustaining the unique sense of community Bountiful once had, and hopefully can regain, is to encourage (actively or passively) a culture where people talk behind each other's backs, complain privately (and from the offendor's standpoint anonymously) about others to moderators or other forum members, take offense at every little thing, and are afraid of giving offense at every turn.

We seem to be suffering as a forum from a drop in trust between and towards one another. And it is manifesting itself in a variety of ways. This whole nonsense we have been exhibiting about little phrases, words, or emoticons is just a symptom.

Need a Snicker or Mild Guffaw?

Came across a print out of an e-mail a former co-worker sent me over three years ago.

The guy is a goofball, and a good several years my junior. Anyway, we had all kinds of fun joking around for the two or three years we worked together. Many a day I wish his joking were around to counter the otherwise dullness of work.

Anyway, this e-mail had some jokes in it. I responded to them at the time with a snare drum roll and cymbal crash and questioned if he had gotten these at www.oldloungecomedianjokes.com or something.

They were pretty corny.

But a couple were pretty funny too.

Like...

Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

or

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

or

A man takes his rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?!" "No, because he's really heavy."

or

Two eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Of Strikes and Other Nonsense

Yesterday morning, the UAW (United Auto Workers for you lay-people) called a general strike against GM (General Motors, again for you lay-people). Not just a local limited strike, but a general, nationwide strike. Every GM plant has effectively been idled. And it is all because they don't like the concessions GM is asking the Union to accept so that GM (and the other two of the Big Three -- Ford and Chrysler) can hope to regain market share against Japanese and Korean automakers in the U.S. market.

See, the idea is that if GM can lower it's cost, particularly the high annual expense it incurs for retiree benefits (e.g. healthcare and pension expenses for those union members who have retired after putting in their time at high wage, guaranteed for life unless you screw up royally, jobs working in a factory), they can perhaps lower the cost involved in making automobiles and make the product end up being more attractive to U.S. buyers from a consumer standpoint.

But, the Union sees it as defending the lifestyles of it's members. That is pretty much it, in a nutshell. "We're entitled to this, and you are sure as heck gonna make sure we are still getting it, cuz we don't want to take no pay cut or no reduction in benefits or have to pay anything more out of our pocket for benefits. Oh, and you're gonna make sure our jobs are guaranteed, and even if you don't have work for us, you're gonna still pay our salary cuz you are gonna have a labor pool from which you will call us back to active work when you lay us off."

I'm not a big fan of labor unions. Why? Not because I'm a Yankee. Not because I'm a Republican. Not because I have an MBA. I'm not a big fan of labor unions because they are no better than the corporations they acuse of being greedy.

Think about it, Mr. Labor Union Head... Michigan has got one of the worst, if not the worst, unemployment rate in the current national economy... something like 7.5%. You call a general strike to quibble over stuff that all the people who work who aren't in unions can only dream of having. Your strike has already started to have a ripple effect on other companies, and before long on your union brothers that work for the suppliers at the tier one parts manufacturers (they won't have much storage space left after another couple days for the parts they keep on making), on the trucking firms and union truck drivers who won't have work because there is nothing to haul, on the steel plants and their union workers who will suddenly have to scale back production when demand for steel drops. And, your strike comes at a time when the beloved Democrat do-nothing, good-for-nothing Governor of the great state of Michigan is dumbfounded when asked why she can't seem to get business to locate in Michigan as she seeks to increase taxes and as more firms flee the state.

Anyway, I wish I had the luxury of calling a general strike for myself against life and the inequity of this world. I think I should be free to do so, because I am entitled to having a better standard of living. I'm entitled to less stress and more fun. I'm entitled to all kinds of neat grown up toys and vacations that cost lots of money. I'm entitled to living debt free. I'm entitled to anything I want and all that other nonsense.

Going on a Snipe Hunt

The other day, as I was casually strolling down the path of eBay’s gi-normous market place, I experienced a most singular event. eBay… Yes, I, just as probably three-quarters of the semi-savvy online people in these United States of America, have long found amusement and a sense of “I’m da man!” when bidding on and winning various items from this worldwide online hybrid of Odd Lots / Flea Market / Antique Store / Neighborhood Garage Sale.

In the years I’ve been bidding on and buying things, I have been successful in procuring such useful things like new computer components and unopened professional software packages for my obsolete computers at a fraction of the original retail price to ancient roman coins to collectable smurf and star wars figures.

I had been trying to win a bid for over a week on something I desperately needed (as much as I need another hole in my head according to my wife)… a mini-portable hard drive for my laptop to use for backup purposes (yeah, like you’ll ever do that…). A plethora of these hard drives have been showing up for auction the past couple weeks. These were new, never opened hard drives that retailed for like $150.00. And the average selling price, shipping included was just slightly over 50% of retail.

Well, I had gotten outbid on yet another auction for one by people who obviously needed it more than me, and there was a mere 25 minutes left in the auction. So, feeling particularly spiteful at yet another couple of people who outbid me, I felt the need to make them pay for it. You know the story line about people crazy in love with someone who decide “If I can’t have you, nobody can!” The same thing kind of happens on e-Bay… “If I can’t have it for the cheap price I want to pay, no outbidder is gonna get it for a song either!” So, I made another bid that was a couple dollars higher than the current leading bidder.

Here was the problem: my spiteful bid was only for like four dollars more than my bid that had been beaten. The highest value on my bid turned out to be the new leading bid, which had not been my intention! And the stupid thing was is that it was only one measly dollar more than the previous leading bidder’s highest bid. Okay, 22 minutes left… surely they are going to come back and outbid me… they want this, yes? I am feeling buyer’s remorse before the auction is even over, wondering how the heck I’m going to explain this to the wife.

As the minutes dragged on to the inevitable winning of something I had only half-heartedly wanted to win, particularly not at this price (yes, I’m a cheapskate and was hoping to get it for like fifty bucks, which would have been 1/3 of retail), I started to think maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. Most of the other auctions were going for around this, and the shipping charge was a little cheaper.

One minute left, and by this time I have gotten the wife over by me at the laptop, explaining the “good news” to her and telling her of the benefits of having this particular hard drive. I am refreshing the auction screen every ten seconds to make sure I am still winning, in the odd event the other bidder does come back and outbid me. Twenty seconds left in the auction rolls by, and I refresh. Nothing. I’m confident that this is over. This is now a matter for the history books.

I refresh one last time and find that the auction is over. And as expected, I find I lost the auction… WHAT?! HOW THE…?! WHO?!

A new bidder sniped me.

Three seconds before the auction ended.

I was outbid at three lousy seconds!

Now that it sank in, I began to laugh. I’ve been sniped before, but never this close to the end of an auction. This bidder was absolutely classic! I told my wife, this was a brilliant piece of bidding strategy. Obviously this person really needed the hard drive and had a higher threshold for price pain than those of us who had been bidding over the past 24 hours.

I said, I should send this person an e-mail via e-Bay congratulating them on their bit of brilliance and tip my hat to them… The man who had tried to raise the price just to make it hurt for those who had outbid him ended up being a snipe, only to get sniped with three (not two and not four) seconds left!

When I went to check the individual’s profile to send the message, I noticed that it said they were from France.

Yes. France.

I started laughing even harder. Stupid Frenchie! It doesn’t look like you were using the brain the good Lord gave you… yes, you may have won the auction, but dude, the ten bucks shipping shown was for U.S. deliveries. You just spent seventy some odd dollars for a portable harddrive that is going to cost you probably twenty five to fifty dollars to ship overseas and put through customs. I no longer felt the need to congratulate the winner bidder on their brilliance.

And, five minutes later, I went and purchased the exact same thing as I lost in this auction on a Buy It Now sale for a nickel cheaper than what it would have cost me had I won the lost auction.

Okay, so I was wrong about the backyard...

Well, I was pleasantly surprised to find that our lawn and backyard did not end up looking like a miniature scale model of the Battle of Verdun. In fact, the contractor that was hired by Comcast to lay their new cable hardly left any trace they had been in anyone's yard.

How, pray tell, was this modern marvel of engineering accomplished?

First, they didn't put anything in the ground in the easement in our yard! It went under the pine trees in neighbors easement (he he he, though I may not be laughing if the trees die and fall in our yard, despite the free firewood I can then claim via nuisance).

Second, they didn't actually dig any trenches. They used what is called horizontal directional drilling. A friend in the ward here actually did that sort of work as a teen. His father owned one of those types of businesses, and so I've heard him talk about it. But, I had never seen the work or any of the machinery used, and it was already getting dark when I noticed what was in progress the other day before making the sarastic rant against mindless corporate entities that feel the need to invade my easements.

Here is a picture of a machine very similar to what was parked in our neighbor's yard for about 24 hours. It may actually be the same model. Anyway, it is about the size of a small bobcat front end loader.



So, anyway, the only signs that any work had been done are as follows: 1. the Comcast box sticking up out of the ground is not completely closed and has cable sticking out of it; 2. lots of mud on top of the mulch under my neighbor's pine trees; 3. about a 10 ft square area of sod that was dug up and replaced around all the utility boxes; 4. the spot where the machine had been sitting (on a pad no less to keep from damaging the ground or grass); and 5. a temporary path of pressed down grass where the machine had rolled across the easement in our yard to leave.

So, even though I still despise Comcast (having been a former customer), I guess it is a good thing the yard didn't get dug up. I'm fresh out of little green plastic army men to play in the mud with.

What are you sorry for?

I'm sorry for not having foreknowledge of what you call civil.

I'm sorry you find offensive an everyday word I include in communication.

I'm sorry for not celebrating the emotional baggage you carry.

I'm sorry for not being as tolerant as you point out you are.

I'm sorry that my world view does not mesh well with yours.

I'm sorry for not having the same rose color glass prescription.

I'm sorry that an apology I'm coerced to give doesn't sound sincere.

I'm sorry that said apology is not really sincere.

I'm sorry that I make it easy for you to point out my faults.

I'm sorry that I try holding up a mirror as defense.

I'm sorry that I am insensitive enough to express my thoughts.

I'm sorry that I am presumptious enough to have thoughts that differ.

I'm sorry that I try to be articulate to avoid being curt.

I'm sorry that I am irrelevant enough to deem a discussion done.

I'm sorry that I was not righteous enough to be from out west.

I'm sorry that I am unable to bow to you if you are.

I'm sorry that I have feelings that can be hurt.

I'm sorry that I feel passionately about things.

I'm sorry that I prefer to do instead of just to talk about it.

I'm sorry for contributing to analysis paralysis.

I'm sorry that I am not entirely independent.

I'm sorry that I can't be more dependent.

I'm sorry that I don't have the blessings you do.

I'm sorry that I don't have your trials too.

I'm sorry that I never had issues with my parents.

I'm sorry that I am adult orphan.

I'm sorry I try to behave as a saint.

I'm sorry that I am a sinner.

I'm sorry that I am an idealist.

I'm sorry that I am blunt about reality.

I'm sorry that I long for Camelot and The Round Table.

I'm sorry that I mourn their loss.


I'm sorry for being sorry.

The Yard Is Gonna Be Torn Up...

I curse the technologic upgrading that faceless mega corporations do in the name of earning the approval of the gods called profit and shareholder wealth. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the overstuffed leather chairs in the executives' office suites!

I won't even begin to hide my loathing for a certain cable company that we are glad to be free of... Comcast... as they are the culprits for this soon to occur raping of my property. I don't care if it is considered "easement". Have you guys seen the stinkin' plat map of our lot? Half the front yard, half the side yard, and about a third of the back yard are easements for the utilities and / or city... And since when is Comcast a public utility?

Comcast's contractor already has the heavy machinery on the street next to our yard and in our neighbors yard (how they got it there without crossing our property is beyond me at this point). But, probably tomorrow morning bright and early, they will be digging up the right of way in both our side yard and our back yard, potentially impacting the electrical lines (Detroit Edison never got staked, so I'm sure Comcast is perfectly safe in their excavationary pursuit). They may find a way to "Oooops..." cut the phone lines that did get staked, and will definitely not give a lick about cutting throw any thing as mundane as the sprinkler system water lines or the invisible pet fence. I'm not so concerned about the pet fence thingee... we don't have a dumb dog that we need to keep in the yard.

But the sprinkler system is gonna torque my shorts. We don't use it currently, but daggnabbit... they are probably going to end up destroying two of the four working zones. And no, they couldn't have done any of this in the middle of the summer when the lawn was on the verge of being utterly wasted thanks to the cursing of drought that was called down upon the State to punish it for re-electing the Billary wannabe governor that it did... no, they have to wait until mid-September when the rains have come again and the weather has cooled down and the lawn has just about recovered and is getting healthy again.

I saw our neighbor out in our back yard taking pictures of his precious pine trees that year after year, he allows to keep encroaching into our yard. Seems he must not have gotten the memo that it was Comcast and not AT&T doing the digging. The phone lines are staked under your trees, Dude... the Comcast lines are the ones that in my yard. You have nothing to worry about unless you are afraid that their machinery is going to rub up against the edges of some of the needled boughs. I think I would be more worried about the fact the Comcast lines look like they go right under the root system of the tall tree in the corner of our mutual neighbors yard. They cut through those roots, and the tree could fall on any one of our four houses... "Ooooops!"

Of course, maybe I should go out and take some pictures too. Of course, it is dark now, and there isn't anything really to take a picture of on our property... but, maybe he was on to something... maybe it would be good in case there is need to file a complaint or claim against Comcast and their conractor.

Afterall, we are not even a customer of said faceless mega-corporation, and after getting Dish Network several years ago and getting the Comcast monkey off our back, it will be a cold day in some level of Dante's Inferno before I will feel beholden to them again to be their customer. Yes, they have lost so many customers, they now feel that they have to go through and dig up people's yards to upgrade their cables so that they can win the fickle, uninformed masses back to paying them. And there is absolutely no word of compensating people for their inconvenience or loss at making their yards uninhabitable. There is no word that they will even plant new grass where they kill it.

But, should I expect that of them? I mean, afterall, we aren't their customer so why should they care? Ameritech certainly didn't years ago when we had to have a new phone line laid... we were MCI customers, but Ameritech owned the infrastructure outside the house. The phone line went bad in the fall, Ameritech replaced it a week later, but left it unburied for the whole winter and spring, and then finally sent someone out in the dead of summer to manually bury it. Apparently, Ameritech thought that burying the new phone line about 1 - 2 inches under the sod they just killed by carelessly spading off the root system in rock hard dry earth was sufficient. It took over a year for the grass to grow back.

Well, at least when that phone line goes bad (any bets Comcast cuts across it tomorrow as it isn't marked between the box to the house?), AT&T, who is our current phone carrier and the descendant company that ended up owning all of the now defunct Ameritech's infrastructure, will be obligated to repair it and I can insist that it be done correctly this time...

On the bright side of the day, I found one of my cousins found the Blunt Edge and had made a comment. I and my wife read several of the postings on her blog, and it was uncanny! We have very similar writing styles. Can't tell we're related! No sir-ree Bob! I encourage you to patronize her endeavor, there ain't nothin' shameful about Random Bits Off The Floor... :D

Weakness on Your Part Does Not Constitute Self-Righteous Behavior on My Part

Well, since the time I went off to Scout Camp with my troop last month, things have been interesting.

We had eighteen boys make some pretty stupid decisions, and to say that they now have the opportunity to learn and grow is an understatement. I won't go into detail, because a lot of it was boys behaving under a mob mentality of being too cool to take ownership and responsibility for their actions.

We had some good fun while at camp, but it was quickly overshadowed by the move to push the envelope, to see what they could get away with and with the feeling they were free of consequences. Not a lot was accomplished by the boys towards earning of merit badges or rank advancement relative to the number of boys that went.

The overall attitude was one of lack of respect for self, others, authority, all the while behaving under the premise of "Entertain me!"

The adult men who went along with the troop often were at wit's end in motivating the boys. I did not stay with the troop the whole week, but left mid-day on Thursday. By Friday evening, things had gone from bad to worse. Some boys were mouthing off to the adults there, one dropped the f-bomb, pocket knives were being used to kill wildlife for fun, and our own Stake President (whose son was one of the boys in the troop) got so aggravated he had to physically leave the camp for a couple hours to gather his wits about him.

But enough about that. These were boys and they can still be taught what constitutes responsible and mature behavior. That is the purpose of the BSA when applied with the Aaronic Priesthood. It will take work by the boys, leaders, and naturally parents.

There was no excuse for a lot of the poor behavior, and it reflected poorly on the troop and yes, in my opinion, the boys' parents to some extent. Can I even say that in today's PC environment? Well after debriefing had occured with the Troop Committee Chair, The YM's president, and one-on-ones with some of the dads who went up, I consulted with my brother, The Scoutmaster bwa-ha-ha , and I relayed the notion that had we even come close to thinking about behaving the way a lot of the boys actually did behave, we would have been knocked into the next month...

Yes, I'm speaking figuratively... not actually about being physically or even emotionally knocked around. My brother and I as well as most of the boys we grew up with had parents who taught us who we were, what our potential was, what the expectation for behavior was, and that adherence to that standard was indeed a reflection upon not only us, but the family and our parents good names. And you know what, we believed it and still do, and we are perfectly well adjusted people.

Anyway, what happened at Scout Camp has bothered me quite a bit the last month. And there has been another thing that happened the same week as Scout Camp that has been equally bothersome.

At the forum I help moderate, an individual revealed that he studied away his testimony of the Gospel and the Church. So now he and his wife are apostate, but they want our love and support. And yet, they seem to be puzzled at the reaction they get from faithful members of the Church now. They indicate their falling away has been going on for some time as they examined doubts, but they were never up front with their faithful member friends online from the get-go as to their doubts. Their actual thoughts have been shown by comments they have made elsewhere since their announcement, and now they feel violated that the things they posted in other public forums and on their blog are known by those who had thought of themselves as friends of the couple.

The expectation from them is that nothing is different now, so why should you look at or behave towards us differently...

Uh, duh... you weren't forthright with us, our level of trust towards you has suffered greatly, and yet because we are reacting to the feeling perhaps we may have been deceived a bit, somehow we are the ones in the wrong? Yes, the one thing that was binding between us is gone, and that is belief in the Gospel and faithfulness to the Church. That is not a lame thing to base a relationship off of. It consists of common goals, common beliefs, common values, and the ability to give the other person the benefit of the doubt based on that. So, how is it that you feel you should still automatically get that benefit of the doubt when there was no other facet to the relationship? Life doesn't work that way, nor do relationships. We are within normal parameters for feeling hurt, sad, angry, betrayed, and yes even suspicious.

As hard as it may seem, this must be said: Your weakness in turning from a whole belief system and essentially blaming every hardship and feeling of inadequacey you have on the doctrines and people within the Church because it is easier than giving up whatever pride and emotional baggage you want to hoard does not constitute self-righteous behavior on the part of those who are not following the path of confusion you selected simply because they state they do not agree with you. So stop trying to imply your situation -- past, present, and future -- is the result of anyone else but yourself. You not only made your bed, but you have shopped for it, brought it home, and set it up. No one forced you to either. So, when you find that it is not that comfortable sleeping in down the road, I hope you have sense enough to humbly come back and try holding onto the iron rod along the path again. You may be in for a surprise that those you thought were so hypocritical and self-righteous are for the most part imperfect disciples of Christ trying hard to turn their will over to Him and will have their arms open towards you.

So, is there a correlary between folks raised in the Church who fall away and the level of teaching parents do in lovingly teaching them (and expecting them) to remember who they were and to behave accordingly? I don't know. I think there may be. It seems that today so many parents are afraid to set those expectations firmly in their children's mind... you're going to hurt their feelings or psyche if your teach your children about duty, responsibility, honor, one's good name instead of catering to their every whim. Has the parenting paradigm shifted so greatly that it is now more noble to teach a child to always try to find themself... that whatever feels right for you is okay and don't worry about falling on your face because I'll be there to cushion you from any hurt?

I found out this past week that one of the areas I served my mission in some twenty years ago experienced a significant apostacy within the last five to seven years. Sounds like it was over the same thing as this couple I mentioned above: feeding doubts created by studying "historical documents" which are of no worth to the soul. While I was a missionary in that area, the ward was split in that city. A small dependent branch was formed in another part of my former assigned area some years after I returned home. I think within the last couple years, the fallout of just one influential person studying, doubting, and then passing it on resulted in so many people leaving their testimony (including priesthood holders and some leaders), that first the branch was dissolved and then the wards were merged into one unit. I've been in touch with one of the full-time sister missionaries currently in the city (she is the daughter of family friends and my wife and I knew her when she was a Beehive). Unfortunately, this sister had not heard of any of the names of people I had known twenty years ago. Many of these were people I had taught and baptised or whom I had developed good spiritual relations with in the long 8 months there and they were solid core members of the ward(s). I fear some of them may have been casualties of the falling away. Germans can be great, faithful Saints. But they can also be damn arrogant idiots who aren't satisfied with the simple truths of The Gospel if they don't keep their pride in check.

And in all three of these examples, the common thread is a false sense of pride developing into variations on the theme of hubris. How well it has been said by God's annointed prophets in all dispensations of time... pride (and envy) is an insidious canker to the soul.

I Hope It Don't Rain...

Well, again, I haven't posted anything on the blog for months... May to August, that seems to be about 3 months. I didn't bother to check the date on the last post, but I think it was in May sometime.

Anyway, updates...

School has been out for nearly two months now and the kids have been bouncing off the walls most the summer...
Work has been steadily boring, but I got a raise, so I now get paid more for being bored...
The Mrs. joined us recently at the Bountiful Forum, and seems to be as addicted to the social atmosphere there as everyone else who participates... come on, you know you guys are, so don't try to deny it...
Blew a gasket at a couple of folks on Bountiful Forum yesterday and behaved poorly as a result and feel badly about it...

Oh, and I was called to be Scoutmaster in our ward last week... and yet, was not released as the Asst. Scoutmaster of the 11 year olds. So, I'm my own Assistant. That goes right in line with the corporate organization chart at work. I'm the lowest on the food chain for my surname (as far as levels) from the CEO worldwide in the whole company... I'm like level 10. My own brother is like one or two levels higher in his respective food chain. I would be the highest of all the surname, but for some reason, our employer likes to create organizational structures where managers of sub-organizations are also the manager of the parent organization. Last time I checked, everyone between my direct leader and the direct report to the CEO were listed twice in the food chain. In other words, each reported to themself.

Yeah, wouldn't that be sweet!

Back to the Scoutmaster thing. My brother, The Scoutmaster (said with a certain sinister flare, followed with lightening flash and thunder and an evil sounding 'Bwa-ha-ha!'), was quite happy for me. His response was essentially what a great calling! Excuse my self-doubting oh brother of mine, but this is coming from a man who has just gotten back from a major high adventure with his troop... Okay, well since I follow you in everything and have taken my lead from you in just about everything since I was born, I'll trust you once again... but, does that mean you are gonna come up and help me out? After all, you are an experienced Scoutmaster with lots of experience, enthusiasm, training, and clout under your belt. Me? Well, I've got lots of gut hanging out over my belt...

Fears of failure aside (and yes, anyone who really knows and understands the relationship of Scouting with the Aaronic Priesthood and young men's program within the LDS Church knows that failure is not something to flirt with... you are helping groom the next generation of Melchizedek Priesthood holders of the Church), it should be fun. Definitely a challenge. But, our Bishop has full confidence in me. And so does the former Scoutmaster. It will give me the chance to shine.

Oh, by the way, welcome former Scoutmaster and family to the Blunt Edge recommended blogs / websites! Hopefully, I don't get in trouble for linkin' ya... what's hatching... cute... :D

So, as of this post, we are at about T minus 33 hours and counting until leaving for Scout Camp up near Traverse City. 18 boys. I'll have a number of the boys' dads coming up and spending time with us over the period of the week. But, since Scout Camp was scheduled before I was called as Scout Master, I won't be staying the whole week. I had other previously made plans...

Come Thursday, the Mrs. is driving north and will pick me up. We plan on having a kids-free mini-vacation in Traverse City and round about that day, evening, and work our way back home Friday, getting there by Saturday morning about the same time the boys are coming back from camp most likely dirty and smelly, tired, sunburned, and with some fun and merit badges under their belts. I on the other hand, will be coming home neither dirty or smelly, likely refreshed, not as sunburned, and hopefully still with some degree of financial solvency in the wallet.

One thing that could make things miserable, beyond high heat, would be rain... that novelty thing from distant memories this summer down here in SE Michigan... The guy at the rental place former Scoutmaster and I went today to renting the trailer from said it was cooler and wetter up north than down here. Great! But, I (and probably all the dads going) hope it don't rain...

Here is hoping that this sign doesn't turn into the description of the week...

What's the Measure of a Friend?

It has been a while since I posted something here. Folks have asked for something new, and while I would love to oblige more frequently, it is sometimes hard to determine what would be the most meaningful and beneficial to the largest number of people. And then, I tend to get long winded and bore folks to death as well.

So, this time, I promise will be succinct and to the point.

We all experience the feelings of not thinking we have any friends. We all feel like that odd pea in a bowl of sweet corn on the dinner table. We go about our lives as fellow Saints in the gospel often feeling we just have the occasional tangential brushing of elbows with our brothers and sisters in our respective ward.

Yesterday, my manager announced that our weekly staff meeting was canceled today due to his need to attend a funeral. I asked him if everything was okay, as I knew his father was not in the best of health. He said it was just a friend. Maybe it was a family friend from the social club he is the president of. Maybe it is a long time acquaintance. Maybe it was a close friend. I don't know, as it was not my place to press him on it.

Well, it got me thinking. Death is feared and misunderstood by most people, even Latter-day Saints to some extent. But, death is also a very sacred and intimate spiritual time for Latter-day Saints. It represents -- and we believe it is -- the passing from one sphere of existence to the next, much as birth does on the other end of mortality.

Some may find this morbid, but I got to wondering, who would I want to help dress me in my temple clothes when my time comes. Of course my brother, should he survive me. We already share the experience of dressing our father with the help of several men in our parents ward. I selected them because we admired them and their dedication to the Gospel over the years, and because we considered to be good peers of our father. But, what if I were to die suddenly, who would it be? The men I consider "friends", at least from my youth, are all over the nation, and contact with them has indeed been limited since we went on missions a couple decades ago. So, of necessity, it would need to be some endowed men in my current ward.

And I got to thinking, who would I consider trusted enough to ask this last bit of service from, should the need arise suddenly? And better yet, who would feel comfortable doing it, who would get past the squeemishness of handling, lifting, and clothing my mortal remains? I was befuddled for a minute or two thinking about this, but then the name of one ward brother came, then another, then a couple more. And by the time I decided it wasn't necessary to think any further in these lines, I could easily count on at least 8 or 10 men who I could not only feel I could trust with such a task, but who in all honesty would most likely feel humbly honored to do so.

And you know what, I realized that I do have friends in my ward, for what is the measure of a true friend? It is another testimony of the truth and sacredness of the proxy work done in God's Holy Temples. Namely, someone who performs that last bit of simple, intimate, and spiritual service of dressing another's mortal remains who has recently passed in the temple clothing.

The Besieging...

Copyright 2007 Cumberland Gate. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced in any manner without the express written permission of the author.

In consequence of the evil designs that exist in the hearts of conspiring deer herds, consider this a warning and my forewarning you to take heed and beware of the sweet innocent looking animals that roam suburban woodlands…

It seems that Bambi has taken a queue from the remnants of the Mutant Squirrel infestations of southern California. While we have slept in our complacency of being kind to our four footed friends, they have been training. Indeed, they have been preparing right under our nose, listening to the dogma of their twisted sensei as it is spewed forth in the secret dojos of the wooded places.

The glens are alive… with the silence of Ninja Deer! And they are out to get you and me… well, mostly me at this point, as I have discovered their secret. After months of planning, their assassin attempted to take me out a week ago.

I was on the way home from the office Thursday evening, February 22nd. I was rounding the bend on the service road leading from the office campus to the main road, barely 100 yards outside the wooded area the buildings are in. Suddenly, from my left out of a small stand of trees and bushes in the median leaps Ninja Deer! In an instant, there was the image of four hooves pointed right at the car, and a sneering, intent look on the chiseled jaw off this cousin of Rudolph gone bad… The next instant, a loud crashing sound as deer hits side of my beloved ‘98 Toyota Camry… Next instant my crying out “Stupid Deer!”… Final instant, my stopping the car after realizing what has happened and noticing driver side mirror is missing…

I backed up in the darkness, expecting to see a deer writhing in death throes upon the road or ground nearby. Instead, all I find is what is left of the mirror housing and the mirror and motor assembly of what used to be mounted on the outside of the vehicle’s driver side. Casting my eyes about, I saw the small squad of assassins silently bounding through the snow covered parking lots 100 yards away. It was but then that other vehicles came around the bend. On reflection, I could tell this was a perfectly planned strike by these Ninja Deer… No witnesses. But, luckily, my Cat Herder like instincts had kicked in and I didn’t even flinch, instead delivered a Toyota Sellathon Celebration ‘KEEYAH!’ right back at the assassin’s outstretched lethal weapons. The assassin left his calling card of several tufts of hair stuck in the seams around where the mirror used to be and around the driver side external door handle.

The next morning as I pulled into work in my winged ’98 Toyota Camry, I noticed a small group of three deer just inside the tree line next to the turn lane for my office building. No Ninja costumes. Of course, the deer had to take them off to maintain their secret identities now that it was daylight. They looked at me warily but stood their ground. I looked at them and stood my ground, looking to see if I could visually match up the hair strands I had found with the group of guerilla Ninja deer next to me. It was as if we were both telling each other “I’ve got my eye on you,” complete with the finger motions to the eyes.

It all makes sense now… the random attack on my sister’s van a couple years ago on the way home from church after our baby daughter’s blessing… the eating of tulip blossoms in the yard last spring… the brazen mid-morning foraging in my flower beds by the back door this past fall… the squad of deer that roam my employer’s office building campus… the nearly weekly appearance of a dead deer by the side of the road on the way to work or the ward meetinghouse since the weather turned cold… Those were, respectively: a premature assassination attempt, but on the wrong vehicle; subtle messages that they could dismember me in the dark without leaving a trace; a clear message of ‘See how close we can get to you at any time of the day?’; a recon patrol gathering intel; and ninja deer assassin trainees who had washed out of the program.

Now, I’m no hunter. Don’t even own a firearm. But I do like the taste of venison. While I have always been a supporter of the right for hunters to hunt, it has never been a thing I’ve found the need to be part of. What Bambi Ninja and the others in that sleeper cell of assassins didn’t take into account is that should the opportunity ever arise for me to join the deer hunt, I just may do it now. A bit of revenge -- sweet revenge -- may be nice, particularly if it results in a hefty supply of venison that can be served roasted, broiled, or barbecued! I mean, after all what did I ever do to tick the deer off? They’re the ones who had the nerve to do over $160 damage in parts alone to my dear Toyota Camry!

Sacrament Meeting Talk 18 February 2007

Note: For those unfamiliar with the weekly worship service at a congregation (or Ward) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the service lasts roughly 70 minutes. It is referred to as Sacrament Meeting, because the main focus of the meeting is the ordinance of blessing and partaking of the Sacrament -- other denominations have a similar ceremony called communion. The Sacrament in our church is a sacred remembrance of The Savior's sacrifice and Atonement, as well as a renewal of sacred baptismal covenants members have made with The Savior. In addition to the ordinance, the meeting consists of congregational singing of hymns, perhaps solo or choir musical number, and usually, three to four speakers, lay members of the congregation who have been asked in advance to give talks -- or sermans, if you will -- on various Gospel topics and principles to provide instruction and spiritual edification to all in attendance. This opportunity to speak is regularly afforded to all members who so desire and are in good membership standing, or in other words who are striving to live the Gospel.

Sunday, February 18th was my most recent opportunity. I was the concluding speaker in the meeting. Upon taking my place at the podium, I quipped that today was a special day indeed, for I had finally made it to the point I was not recognized as a youth speaker by the meeting conductor -- in this case our Ward's Bishop -- to which the congregation chuckled, because the Bishop had referred to the first two speakers as Youth speakers when announcing the program after the Sacrament... yet they were also adults! I then commented on how I appreciated the fact there were boxes of tissue on either side of the podium, not that I felt that my talk was going to end up being a double-boxer, but that I appreciated the foresight of being prepared just in case, to which the audience again chuckled.

Below is the text of my talk. I hope that you may be spiritually strengthened by reading it and that you will take the words to heart.

Brothers and Sisters, I am grateful to also have been asked to share some thoughts and words concerning testimony, and I appreciate those words already shared. They and the music today have strengthened my testimony and me. I ask that your prayers be with me, that the Spirit will continue to be here over the next several minutes, that the things which I have prepared and say may be of value in edifying and strengthening you.

While Alma the Younger was entrusting the sacred records of the Nephites to his son Helaman, he provided this instruction “Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.” (1)

When we think of the concept of a testimony, we should remember to not miss the mark. A personal testimony is perhaps one of the simplest of means by which the salvation of many souls is brought to pass.

The dictionary has several conceptual definitions for what the word testimony means. We often equate it in the Gospel to only that of a “public avowal, as of faith or of a religious experience.” But, some of the other definitions are wise for our consideration. I like this one in particular “a declaration or statement made under oath or affirmation by a witness in a court, often in response to questioning, to establish a fact.” Looking at the word testify, a similar definition exists “to make a serious declaration to substantiate a fact; bear witness or give evidence, esp. under oath in a court.” (2)

So, to testify and a testimony can be thought of as “a serious declaration under oath to substantiate a fact… often in response to questioning…” The language of the scriptures concerning testimony and witnesses is pretty clear. The Lord uses two or three or more witnesses to substantiate fact. The Lord takes the responsibility of providing witness very solemnly, yet it is also very simple, perhaps far simpler than in a courtroom situation. As Elder Robert D. Hales states, “A testimony is the spirit of prophecy (see Rev. 19:10). It is a personal revelation from God, revealing the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. A testimony comes through the Holy Ghost; it makes a deep and lasting impression on the soul.” (3) How close is your personal testimony of the Gospel and Savior to where you could “substantiate a fact under oath?”

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf answered several questions concerning the simplicity of personal testimonies in last October’s General Conference. One is the question of what a personal testimony is. He states “A testimony is the sure knowledge or assurance from the Holy Ghost of the truth and divinity of the Lord’s work in these latter days.”

He also answers how a personal testimony is important to have? “A testimony provides proper perspective, motivation, and a solid foundation on which to build a life of purpose and personal growth. It is a constant source of confidence, a true and faithful companion during good times and bad. A testimony provides us with a reason for hope and gladness. It helps us cultivate a spirit of optimism and happiness and enables us to rejoice in the beauties of nature. A testimony motivates us to choose the right at all times and in all circumstances. It motivates us to draw nearer to God, allowing Him to draw nearer to us (see James 4:8).

Our personal testimony is a protective shield, and like an iron rod it is guiding us safely through darkness and confusion.” (4)

When I taught Sunday School to the youth, the main objective of the classes was to encourage each youth to seek out the start of their own testimony. I would tell them they have their parent’s testimonies upon which they can have a support, but that eventually that would not be enough. Sooner or later, they had to stand on their own spiritually. And the sooner they started obtaining their own witness, the better. The same goes for us as adults. If our personal testimony is based on another person’s apparent spiritual strength as opposed to our own receipt of spiritual witness, we may find ourselves in risk of spiritual crisis should that individual ever falter. The same is true if our testimony is missing any part of what constitutes the basis and foundation of a personal testimony.

The core of a personal testimony must include the following items (4):

• God lives. He is our loving Father in Heaven, and we are His children.
• Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and the Savior of the world.
• Joseph Smith is the prophet of God through whom the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored in the latter days.
• The Book of Mormon is the word of God.
• President Gordon B. Hinckley, his counselors, and the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are the prophets, seers, and revelators in our day.

These are the areas we need to focus in on as we develop and maintain our individual, personal testimony of the truth. All other truths are appendages to these points… even truths that appear to be mutually exclusive. All truth is ultimately centered on these core items even if it is not apparent.

How do we obtain a personal testimony from The Holy Ghost? For each of us, the experience and time involved may be slightly different, but the essential process and pattern involved is pretty much the same. This process is another example of the simplicity. It first requires desire. Desire is more than mere curiosity. Alma in his teachings to the Zoramites explains that desire requires the exercising of faith “But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye can give place for a portion of my words.” (5) Next, it requires study and searching in the source of truth, the scriptural canon and writings of prophets and apostles. Third, there is an aspect of obedience that needs to be included. We need to prove the words by doing them. Book knowledge in any subject is a far different thing than hands on experience. A person can read volumes on how to build a piece of furniture or watch umpteen shows on cooking, but until that person actually does what they are reading about or watching, they will not really know how to do it. Also and more importantly, the Spirit cannot work within us if we are not worthy of His influence. Speaking of youth gaining testimonies several decades ago, Pres. David O McKay said “Are we sufficiently emphasizing the fact that they will never know it if they indulge in sin; they will never find it out if they live to gratify their passions and appetites. “My spirit shall not always strive with man.” (Gen. 6:3; D&C 1:33; Moses 8:17.) His spirit will not dwell in unclean tabernacles. (“The Spirit of the Lord doth not dwell in unholy temples.” Helaman 4:24.) And you cannot have a testimony without the Spirit of God…” (6)

I remember when barely a deacon, I decided I wanted to know if this really was God’s true Church. My older brother was on his mission, and I wanted to cast away doubt that it was anything but right. I was a little younger than Joseph Smith was when he had his first vision, but I thought if he can ask for what he did, than maybe it is okay for me to seek knowledge as well. Although I had grown up in an LDS family, I still needed to determine if there was something to what I had been taught other than just nice feel good stories. My parents kept church literature in the house, and I took a Joseph Smith pamphlet from the desk they kept a supply of things like that in. I went to my bedroom and lie on my bed and read it. While reading it, I felt those good, warm feelings of the Spirit speak to my soul. I then closed the door and knelt and prayed to ask if what I had read was true and if what I felt was true. The response was immediate, and more of the same but of greater intensity to what I had felt earlier. It was clear to me that this was true. This witness was given because I had a desire to know and I asked. Simple. Exercise of faith, following of the process, and the spiritual witness was given. Nearly three decades later, I still remember it. As Joseph recorded of his experience, I know it, and I know God knows it, and I cannot deny it even if I were so inclined to do so.

How do we know if we have a personal testimony? First, we need to recognize when we are feeling the Spirit whisper to us. Sometimes, it will be as strong as the burning in the bosom or the overwhelming joy that brings us to tears. Other times it will simply be the enlarging of the soul or the speaking of peace to calm us. Sometimes we may forget that we have already received a witness, particularly if we are expecting something grand every time. “Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God? And now, behold, you have received a witness; for if I have told you things which no man knoweth have you not received a witness?” (7) Spiritual things are discerned spiritually, not by the natural man. Remember, small and simple means.

Okay, this is all nice, but why do we need a personal testimony? Let’s go back to the statement I made earlier, that a personal testimony is perhaps one of the simplest means by which salvation is brought to pass. How is that? President Gordon B. Hinckley has said “Personal testimony is a wonderful thing, a gift from God to man. It is a conviction, a quiet certainty of the living God, of the divinity of His Beloved Son, of the restoration of Their work in our time.” --and here is the key point-- “It demands that we do what He has asked us to do.” (8) Whose salvation is most important? First and foremost, our own is... then, that of our family. We have been given the promise by The Savior that if we keep the commandments and endure to the end, we shall have eternal life. Our testimony becomes an enabler or catalyst of our faith being put to action in living the gospel and in repenting of our sins. Having a personal testimony gives us the internal understanding of why we do the things that we do in the Gospel, so that when the rains come down and the floods come up, our house will be as the house that was built upon the rock. Perhaps, very few of us will have to face the same challenges that people like Job, or Abraham, or Joseph Smith and many of the early Saints in this dispensation faced. But we each will at some point have to face our own form of seemingly losing blessings or being asked to put our all on the altar or face hostile persecution as we seek to establish Zion and the Kingdom of God. A personal testimony can therefore be our own glimpse of the mountain full of horses and chariots of fire, the knowledge that “they that be with us are more than they that are with them,” as the prophet Elisha wished for his servant. (9)

So, where are you individually on developing and maintaining your personal testimony of The Savior and His Gospel? Are you putting it off until another day when it is more convenient, or are you as the king over all the Lamanites, after hearing the gospel from Aaron, who was so desirous of salvation that he “did bow down before the Lord upon his knees; yea, even he did prostrate himself upon the earth and cried mightily, saying: O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day.” (10) Remember, we can’t be saved in ignorance of the truth. We need more than just belief.

Brothers and Sisters, I am grateful for the righteous examples and influences you are to me and my family in strengthening and bolstering our testimonies and faith. I am humbled by the love you show for us. I want you to know that the things I speak are true. I know that Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah, and that He lives. I know that this is His true Church and that He stands at the head. I know that The Book of Mormon is true scripture from The Lord. I know that Joseph Smith was the prophet through which The Lord restored the fullness of His Gospel upon the earth. And I know that Gordon B. Hinckley is the living prophet of God today. What the Gospel teaches is not just nice feel good stories. It is the truest thing on this earth. These things I know for they have been witnessed to me by the Holy Ghost on numerous occasions. As Alma of old, I have fasted, pondered, and prayed to receive these witnesses. I have also worked on living the principles. You too can know this for yourself by following that same, simple pattern. It is my prayer that you will so do and take advantage of this small and simple means, that you may have the catalyst in place to have the great thing of your salvation come to pass. I share this with you in His Holy Name, even Jesus Christ, Amen.





Source References:
1. Alma 37:6-7
2. Webster’s New World Dictionary, 3rd College Edition
3. Robert D. Hales, “The Importance of Receiving a Personal Testimony,” Ensign, Nov. 1994, 20
4. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Power of a Personal Testimony,” Ensign, Nov 2006, 37–39
5. Alma 32:27
6. David O McKay, In Conference Report, Oct. 1953, 88–89.
7. Doctrine & Covenants 6:22-24
8. Gordon B. Hinckley, “Testimony,” Friend, Oct 1998, inside front cover
9. 2 Kings 6:15-17
10. Alma 22:17-18

It Gets Pretty Tiring At Times

What's the use in trying to express one's frustrations if others don't really care to hear them?

What's the purpose in trying to communicate if others are not going to listen?

Why try to be part of a community when you are concerned that others are really only giving lip service to not making the same mistakes made elsewhere?

Maybe the answers to these questions aren't that important. But, it would be nice if someone other than me felt they were. And even if they didn't feel they were important, it would be even nicer if people didn't behave as if I'm over reacting just because I hold and express opinions that differ from theirs.

I wonder... is it a general trait of members of the Church that as long as interpersonal relations don't have to require an investment of energy on their part, things are honky dory? Is there some peculiar aspect of the sub-culture that limits the desire to reach out and connect with others beyond that of superficial acquaintanceship? Or is it just general to the civilization we live in? I mean, with the fulness of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, you would think we as Saints would be less like the general population in this respect.

Why do people find it, or at a minimum act like it is, a burden to understand others? What ever happened to the paradigm of seek to understand before being understood? Why is it that so many people are so much more willing to think that all others only act from the lowest common denominator of self-interest?