Weakness on Your Part Does Not Constitute Self-Righteous Behavior on My Part

Well, since the time I went off to Scout Camp with my troop last month, things have been interesting.

We had eighteen boys make some pretty stupid decisions, and to say that they now have the opportunity to learn and grow is an understatement. I won't go into detail, because a lot of it was boys behaving under a mob mentality of being too cool to take ownership and responsibility for their actions.

We had some good fun while at camp, but it was quickly overshadowed by the move to push the envelope, to see what they could get away with and with the feeling they were free of consequences. Not a lot was accomplished by the boys towards earning of merit badges or rank advancement relative to the number of boys that went.

The overall attitude was one of lack of respect for self, others, authority, all the while behaving under the premise of "Entertain me!"

The adult men who went along with the troop often were at wit's end in motivating the boys. I did not stay with the troop the whole week, but left mid-day on Thursday. By Friday evening, things had gone from bad to worse. Some boys were mouthing off to the adults there, one dropped the f-bomb, pocket knives were being used to kill wildlife for fun, and our own Stake President (whose son was one of the boys in the troop) got so aggravated he had to physically leave the camp for a couple hours to gather his wits about him.

But enough about that. These were boys and they can still be taught what constitutes responsible and mature behavior. That is the purpose of the BSA when applied with the Aaronic Priesthood. It will take work by the boys, leaders, and naturally parents.

There was no excuse for a lot of the poor behavior, and it reflected poorly on the troop and yes, in my opinion, the boys' parents to some extent. Can I even say that in today's PC environment? Well after debriefing had occured with the Troop Committee Chair, The YM's president, and one-on-ones with some of the dads who went up, I consulted with my brother, The Scoutmaster bwa-ha-ha , and I relayed the notion that had we even come close to thinking about behaving the way a lot of the boys actually did behave, we would have been knocked into the next month...

Yes, I'm speaking figuratively... not actually about being physically or even emotionally knocked around. My brother and I as well as most of the boys we grew up with had parents who taught us who we were, what our potential was, what the expectation for behavior was, and that adherence to that standard was indeed a reflection upon not only us, but the family and our parents good names. And you know what, we believed it and still do, and we are perfectly well adjusted people.

Anyway, what happened at Scout Camp has bothered me quite a bit the last month. And there has been another thing that happened the same week as Scout Camp that has been equally bothersome.

At the forum I help moderate, an individual revealed that he studied away his testimony of the Gospel and the Church. So now he and his wife are apostate, but they want our love and support. And yet, they seem to be puzzled at the reaction they get from faithful members of the Church now. They indicate their falling away has been going on for some time as they examined doubts, but they were never up front with their faithful member friends online from the get-go as to their doubts. Their actual thoughts have been shown by comments they have made elsewhere since their announcement, and now they feel violated that the things they posted in other public forums and on their blog are known by those who had thought of themselves as friends of the couple.

The expectation from them is that nothing is different now, so why should you look at or behave towards us differently...

Uh, duh... you weren't forthright with us, our level of trust towards you has suffered greatly, and yet because we are reacting to the feeling perhaps we may have been deceived a bit, somehow we are the ones in the wrong? Yes, the one thing that was binding between us is gone, and that is belief in the Gospel and faithfulness to the Church. That is not a lame thing to base a relationship off of. It consists of common goals, common beliefs, common values, and the ability to give the other person the benefit of the doubt based on that. So, how is it that you feel you should still automatically get that benefit of the doubt when there was no other facet to the relationship? Life doesn't work that way, nor do relationships. We are within normal parameters for feeling hurt, sad, angry, betrayed, and yes even suspicious.

As hard as it may seem, this must be said: Your weakness in turning from a whole belief system and essentially blaming every hardship and feeling of inadequacey you have on the doctrines and people within the Church because it is easier than giving up whatever pride and emotional baggage you want to hoard does not constitute self-righteous behavior on the part of those who are not following the path of confusion you selected simply because they state they do not agree with you. So stop trying to imply your situation -- past, present, and future -- is the result of anyone else but yourself. You not only made your bed, but you have shopped for it, brought it home, and set it up. No one forced you to either. So, when you find that it is not that comfortable sleeping in down the road, I hope you have sense enough to humbly come back and try holding onto the iron rod along the path again. You may be in for a surprise that those you thought were so hypocritical and self-righteous are for the most part imperfect disciples of Christ trying hard to turn their will over to Him and will have their arms open towards you.

So, is there a correlary between folks raised in the Church who fall away and the level of teaching parents do in lovingly teaching them (and expecting them) to remember who they were and to behave accordingly? I don't know. I think there may be. It seems that today so many parents are afraid to set those expectations firmly in their children's mind... you're going to hurt their feelings or psyche if your teach your children about duty, responsibility, honor, one's good name instead of catering to their every whim. Has the parenting paradigm shifted so greatly that it is now more noble to teach a child to always try to find themself... that whatever feels right for you is okay and don't worry about falling on your face because I'll be there to cushion you from any hurt?

I found out this past week that one of the areas I served my mission in some twenty years ago experienced a significant apostacy within the last five to seven years. Sounds like it was over the same thing as this couple I mentioned above: feeding doubts created by studying "historical documents" which are of no worth to the soul. While I was a missionary in that area, the ward was split in that city. A small dependent branch was formed in another part of my former assigned area some years after I returned home. I think within the last couple years, the fallout of just one influential person studying, doubting, and then passing it on resulted in so many people leaving their testimony (including priesthood holders and some leaders), that first the branch was dissolved and then the wards were merged into one unit. I've been in touch with one of the full-time sister missionaries currently in the city (she is the daughter of family friends and my wife and I knew her when she was a Beehive). Unfortunately, this sister had not heard of any of the names of people I had known twenty years ago. Many of these were people I had taught and baptised or whom I had developed good spiritual relations with in the long 8 months there and they were solid core members of the ward(s). I fear some of them may have been casualties of the falling away. Germans can be great, faithful Saints. But they can also be damn arrogant idiots who aren't satisfied with the simple truths of The Gospel if they don't keep their pride in check.

And in all three of these examples, the common thread is a false sense of pride developing into variations on the theme of hubris. How well it has been said by God's annointed prophets in all dispensations of time... pride (and envy) is an insidious canker to the soul.